All in Doctorly Musings
My type of PTSD
By definition, PTSD doesn't really go away....it's just that not everyone understands that I have PTSD. I didn't know it myself until I heard my therapist say it off-hand. Like it was a given. And that it was okay.
Just like I didn't realize that I had 'depression' until she said it. I thought I was grieving. But I also wasn't functioning as well. So "acute depression" it is. It's interesting that we tend to stay away from 'labels' and 'diagnoses' even as medical professionals. But, years later, I can say that I had depression. And that it was okay. I'm okay.
National Women Physicians Day 2018
Last year, I wrote about the many women physicians who have inspired me along my own journey, most importantly my mom. This year, I'd like to write about the many patients who inspire me.
There have been so many families who have let me into their lives. Too many to count, so many that share the little things that matter so much. I feel honored to be a part of that, a tiny part of helping out their kids. And too many details for me to write without invading privacy.
But let me just say this: thank you.
Thank your for the privilege and the trust you put into us as your child's doctor.
Mix It Up AKA The Friendship Orange
Little Lion’s second grade teachers have started a new thing this year and I love it. I don’t know what they call it, but I’m officially calling it “Mix It Up”. Each month, they are placed at certain lunch tables on Wednesdays and that is their Wednesday lunch group. The teachers mix up the kids so they sit with that group on Wednesdays only. The rest of the week, they get to choose where to sit.
It’s a brilliant idea. Little Lion is making new friends and reconnecting with old ones.
Discovering My Heart
“Your heart is like the ocean, mysterious and dark.”
~ Bob Dylan
This quote is on one of the cards in our Macy calendar this month. I’ve been taking the quotes to heart this year, trying to find meaning in each one, just as I meant for my little family to do when we were making them together last year.
Icky January
January is when I start to feel icky. And by 'icky', I mean restless and crawling out of my skin. It has only hit me in small bursts this year, but in the early morning hours of this Saturday morning, I'm feeling it. My family is asleep. Usually Mr. Bookworm is up writing by now. I'm wide awake because I woke before my alarm.
Best Nine
Instagram goes crazy this time of year with everyone's Best Nine. You haven't heard of it? It's the nine most 'liked' pictures you've posted over the year.
And in this quiet morning (it's the day before Christmas as I write this, and, no, I'm still not ready), I started thinking about a different 'Best Nine'. What am I proud of this year?
My Heart is So Full
Our house isn’t ready for Christmas. My stack of cards, unaddressed, is still sitting there. We don’t have our tree up yet because we’ve been sick. Our stockings aren’t hung by the chimney with care. (Though Mr. Bookworm has taken our Christmas boxes down from the attic.) And though we have lots of presents, none of them are wrapped. There is no guarantee of any of those things actually getting done this weekend either—not with us being sick. And that’s okay.
The only thing that MUST get done today is the movies. Because we’re off to see The Last Jedi today.
Rainbows
Every since Mini Me was little, we've talked about different types of families. We've talked about families with just one parent, with two parents that are boys or girls or one of each, and with different households.
Thankful and Gratitude notes
On the way home from our Thanksgiving celebration with the family, I realized that we forgot to say what we are thankful for. Traditionally we write what we are thankful for anonymously and then place them all in a bag. The gratitude notes are then read out loud.
Since we forgot, the four of us stated our thank yous in the car.
Special Delivery Book Anniversary and Selfish Holidays
Celebrating the 5 year book anniversary of Special Delivery:
What's Special Delivery? It's a children's book that I wrote when Mini Me was two years old and I was pregnant with Macy, my daughter who lived only briefly. One sleepless night I couldn't get these words out of my head as we were figuring out how to tell Mini Me that her sister was likely going to die.
Eventually, for Macy's funeral, we had five books printed at a local shop. And then, in 2012, we received a grant from Sappi Ideas That Matter to have the book published so that we could distribute them to other families, free of cost.
Mother of Dragons
Common Welsh Green Dragon from Harry Potter, Tsunami Dragon from Wings of Fire, and Mother of Dragons, not really from Game of Thrones :D
Fridays I'm in Love
On Fridays on my way to work, I see the same man walking toward the cemetery with a huge bunch of flowers. I only see him if I go to work after dropping off the girls, but like clockwork, he is there with his fisherman's vest on, and that bright bundle of flowers. Every time I see him, I can't help but smile. But it's a bittersweet smile.
Still I Rise
Dr. Bookworm's take on Banned Books Week.
We Learned From the Best
There are many things I could admire about Lola, especially today on what would have been her 96th birthday. I could admire the fact that she had a PhD, at a time when attaining a higher education for a female could not have been easy. I could admire the way she traveled the world with my Lolo, and then continued to do so years after he passed away. She lived for 17 years after him, and I can only imagine her grief. Even now, for me, she has been gone for 16 years and I miss her every single day.
What I choose to remember most and admire the most about my Lola is her generous spirit.
How Ice Cream Saved My Marriage Before It Even Started
True fact: minus one week of not-being-broken-up (maybe), Mr. Bookworm and I have been together since we were dating. And while I have my faults, I like to think that Mr. Bookworm has helped me become a better person.
So don't judge (too much) when I tell you the story of how ice cream saved my marriage. Or rather, how ice cream saved my wedding to Mr. Bookworm.
Defunding Planned Parenthood
I've been reading a lot on social media and online about what happens when we defund Planned Parenthood, and what the repercussions of the new healthcare act will have on underserved populations. I won't pretend to be a journalist and I won't pretend that I understand all the minutiae of what is going on. But let me tell you what defunding Planned Parenthood means to me as a pediatrician.
In my lifetime, I've had to tell two separate twelve-year-old girls that they were pregnant. Two. One when I was a resident one when I was an attending.
For both, I don't know the outcome.