Peaceful Days for a Mom
Some days are more peaceful than others. They are few and far between. And that’s okay. I think that’s what I signed up for when Mr. Bookworm and I decided to have kids.
This morning was very peaceful. A sharp contrast to yesterday when Little Lion was “snuffly” and we wanted her to to go to school, but I admit I was torn. She had no fevers, felt crummy, and I shouldn’t have offered….because we got her ready anyway and when it was time to leave, she refused. In her defense, maybe she did feel crummy and it’s a pain to constantly blow her nose at school and she was possibly contagious.
But if all kids with runny noses stayed home, no one would be at school. So, at least, this way she recovered, and is back at school today.
On the mornings when Mr. Bookworm drives the girls to school, I’m a (more of a) micromanager. So I helped the girls get ready and off they went on time to bring Mini Me to her earlier middle school start time.
And I’m left behind in my pajamas, wondering how in the world we could promote peaceful mornings EVERY morning.
Tomorrow will be a different type of peaceful morning. We are joining Forever Footprints in the OC Walk to Remember to celebrate and honor our babies who were gone too soon. We’ve been a part of their non-profit section for the walk off and on since 2012. In our first year there, we had a group of 30 people walking in memory of Macy and volunteering with us to give out complimentary copies of Special Delivery, our board book for siblings. One year when they had a 5K run, we participated in just the run (just the four of us). And last year my twin’s wedding was the same weekend.
This year we are back to just the four of us. Mr. Bookworm, Mini Me, Little Lion and me. I didn’t ask anyone to volunteer or donate. I’m not sure why—actually I think I know why. While I love my little Macy as much as I ever did, it gets harder to try and get people to understand. This January she would have been ten years old. TEN. It’s a milestone moment, but every birthday is in our house. What would my ten-year-old Macy be like today? Is ten years long enough to get over grieving your child?
It isn’t. I will never get over it because Macy is a part of me just like Mini Me and Little Lion are.
As I shared with someone yesterday, it gets harder as time passes on, but harder in a different way. It’s harder to know when to share and when not to share.
Tomorrow, I’m all about sharing. Tomorrow I want to honor and be there for the many families who are going through what we have experienced.
And tomorrow, as the sun rises while we are setting up our booth, I’ll think of my Macy and be grateful for another peaceful morning.