Some Days I Feel Like this AT-AT
Some days I feel like this AT-AT. Like I'm losing the mom war. Yes, it's a war some days....and sometimes I'm not winning. It's not even close.
The other night after a super busy weekend that included Mini Me making us a Cuban meal for school, Hamiltunes (a Hamilton sing-along), Easter plus Little Lion's birthday trip to Legoland, we had a mega-malfunction at the Bookworm household. It was the second late night in a row and Little Lion was just done. Overstimulated and tired. And so were we. (This came on the heels of Mr. Bookworm working crazy hours for three weeks straight.)
I was patient with Little Lion...until I wasn't. My head was pounding and my newly-minted eight year old would NOT. STOP. SCREAMING.
I may have screamed back. Those aren't my finest moments when I find myself giving in and screaming at my kids. It's never satisfying. And it never makes anything better.
But, I'm human, just like they are. And I apologize, just like I expect them to do when they've done something wrong.
I still woke up with a headache and a tinge of sadness on Monday morning. A tantrum hangover. And the determination to do better. Pick myself up again, and all that jazz.
The good and bad thing about Mondays is that we are extremely busy at work. So picking myself back up is easy and mandatory.
Working on behavior for all of us is another story. But we'll get there. If only for the fact that I have Mr. Bookworm to keep me grounded and he has me. We tag team when we're overwhelmed with a tantrum. And we try our best to walk away. And then we work on getting better.
Sometimes it feels like it's never-ending—one step forward and two steps back. I think back to the baby and toddler days, when nursing and interrupted sleep seemed never-ending. Yet we made it through. It seems so simple now. And we'll make it through these growing pains years too. Just like my parents did, and their parents before them.
One clumsy AT-AT step at a time.