All tagged Infant loss awareness

My type of PTSD

By definition, PTSD doesn't really go away....it's just that not everyone understands that I have PTSD.  I didn't know it myself until I heard my therapist say it off-hand.  Like it was a given.  And that it was okay.

Just like I didn't realize that I had 'depression' until she said it.  I thought I was grieving.  But I also wasn't functioning as well.  So "acute depression" it is.  It's interesting that we tend to stay away from 'labels' and 'diagnoses' even as medical professionals.  But, years later, I can say that I had depression.  And that it was okay.  I'm okay.

Featured Fridays: The Ruthie Lou Foundation

"The Ruthie Lou Foundation was inspired by the love, care, and support that my daughter's team of health professionals showed my family. We were guided through our time with Ruthie Lou and it has made all the difference as we navigate our life without her. In creating this non-profit, I wanted to offer the same compassion to other families experiencing the loss of their beloved baby." ~Amie Lands

Special Delivery Book Anniversary and Selfish Holidays

Celebrating the 5 year book anniversary of Special Delivery:

What's Special Delivery?  It's a children's book that I wrote when Mini Me was two years old and I was pregnant with Macy, my daughter who lived only briefly.  One sleepless night I couldn't get these words out of my head as we were figuring out how to tell Mini Me that her sister was likely going to die. 

Eventually, for Macy's funeral, we had five  books printed at a local shop.  And then, in 2012, we received a grant from Sappi Ideas That Matter to have the book published so that we could distribute them to other families, free of cost. 

Fridays I'm in Love

On Fridays on my way to work, I see the same man walking toward the cemetery with a huge bunch of flowers.  I only see him if I go to work after dropping off the girls, but like clockwork, he is there with his fisherman's vest on, and that bright bundle of flowers. Every time I see him, I can't help but smile.  But it's a bittersweet smile.